Saturday 12 December 2009

Trouble with Alopecia? Try a Breast Massage!

Do you suffer from hair loss? Are you desperate? Have money? Gullible?
Then try this amazingly astonishing alternative treatment (free for women)!!
It’s the Brilliant Breast Massage Treatment Program For Hair Loss!
No medicine. No pills. No bitter-tasting Chinese concoctions.
Sign up here today!!

A 28-year-old woman in Hong Kong who suffers from hair loss (cause unknown; cause unverified) was introduced to an “alternative doctor” (read “quack”) by a priest back in 2005. This 68-year-old quack charged the woman HK$2,000 (US$256) for 10 massage sessions. The sessions allegedly involved the quack fondling the woman’s breasts and private parts to "stimulate her lotus". Quite what effect stimulating one’s lotus has on one’s hair growth is a hitherto unknown position in the medical world … but hey, it sure sounds like it’ll be fun once clinical trials are approved!

If this really was true (massaging breasts to induce hair growth), would it be reasonable to expect that in a sexually-liberated society utopia all the beautiful women would have healthy, long, luscious locks of hair and the men would have silly grins on their silly faces?

And, considering what the pharmaceutical companies have done with marketing Viagra for women (i.e. reciprocal treatments for the other sex), one would think that men would jump at the legitimate chance of having their man boobs breasts fondled (not to mention their “lotus” stimulated) in a desperate attempt to throw money at this “alternative treatment” to avoid hair loss.

If only it was true!!

About Hong Kong Hocus Pocus

From The Standard
`Sex therapy' cure for hair loss, court told (Dec 10, 2009)
Porn videos seen as cure for hair loss, court hears (Dec 11, 2009)
The court had earlier been told the woman, who cannot be named for legal reasons, met Chan for the first time in his Sheung Wan clinic in September 2005. He was recommended to her by a priest.

He first persuaded her to buy a pack of 10 massage treatments for HK$2,000.

A few months later, at a massage in the middle of winter, Chan told her to strip. During "treatment" sessions, he allegedly fondled her private parts to "stimulate her lotus."

As part of the next round of treatment in 2006, Chan allegedly fondled her breasts and said she needed more intensive "sex therapy" to help her hair grow.

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